I'd Do Anything
by xx.butterflaii
Summary: - Set during Haunted - Songfic - What happens to Suze when Jesse threatens to leave? Can she bear it, or will she break before then? - SJ - finally completed -
1. Part One

**(A/N: This is my first fanfic and it's a songfic… this is just the first part. Enjoy! Please read and review… I know it kinda sucks. DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN ANYTHING MEG CABOT AND SIMPLE PLAN OWN IT thank you.)**

**I'd Do Anything - Simple Plan**

**Jesse's POV**

I 'materialize', as you would say, in your room and sit down on the window seat. As soon as I come, Spike scratches at the window and I open it, letting him in. As I put him on my leg and pet him, he purrs loudly. My thoughts move on to you.

( Another day is going by  
I'm thinking about you all the time  
But you're out there  
And I'm here waiting )

**Suze's POV**

When Father Dominic told me that Jesse had chosen to leave, I could not believe it. All these past weeks, I had thought he at least _felt_ something for me. I mean, after all that I've done for him... Going back to the Shadowland to get him... He kissed me after that. Now I realized that it was all a mistake. A huge mistake.

( And I wrote this letter in my head  
Cuz so many things were left unsaid  
But now you're gone  
And I can't think straight )

**Jesse's POV**

For a century and a half, I have been... floating around, I should say, deprived of any companions. At first I thought I must have sinned greatly to be put here, in the world of living, and watch as my family passes away before my eyes. That I was not the obedient son I thought I was.

Then you came along.

Susannah... Such a beautiful name. At first I thought that God was now forgiving me of my sins. I felt more alive than I had been for the past 170 years, 20 of them living, 150 dead.

As you come out of the bathroom, I can sense anger in every fibre of your being. I try to make you understand... that this is for the best. You deserve someone more than me... You deserve someone alive.

_( This could be the one last chance  
To make you understand )_

But then I realize I don't want to go. After Maria and that... _bastardo_ Diego were exorcized... That time when I kissed you. I finally realized that though I tried so hard not to... I've fallen in love.

( I'd do anything  
Just to hold you in my arms  
To try to make you laugh  
Cuz somehow I can't put you in the past )

**Suze's POV**

I stiffened up when I saw Jesse. I blinked in what I hoped was a very cool manner. I knew I was being rude when I talked to him. Mean, even. But didn't he know he was breaking my heart?

( I'd do anything  
Just to fall asleep with you  
Will you remember me?  
Cuz I know I won't forget you... )


	2. Part Two

**I'd Do Anything**

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**(A/N: so basically, i decided one day to look through all my fanfictions because i was extremely bored. then i thought - huh, i don't actually remember the very first fic i've ever written. i click, and to my dismay, i've never finished it. not even close. i know i said it was already completed, but that was because i really didn't want to continue the admittedly worst fic i've ever written. the writing style in the first chapter is SO much different from my writing now. then again, this fic was written like what, five years ago? something weird like that.**

**yeah... so, sorry to say, but i didn't put as much effort into this ending. i definitely didn't proofread or anything, so this is it in all its raw form.**

here it is. the unawaited end to this songfic. i don't like songfics. but yeah. enjoy?)

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**Jesse's POV**

"Leave."

I open my mouth to try and argue, but you interrupt me, your chocolate brown eyes flashing at me in anger. And yet, all I can think of is how beautiful you look.

"I said, get out. Just leave me alone, Jesse!"

Waves of hurt wash over me as I watch you turn away from me, to face the opposite wall, to look anywhere but at me. I've never felt this much pain and emotion since I had become this damned creature, and I'm convinced even more of what I am – the despicable being I am – as I hear your voice drip poison and hurt. I feel my non-beating heart rip in two as I hear you stifle a sob.

If I wasn't this horrible creature, I never would have hurt you. I would never had made you cry.

"Please," I hear you whisper softly, begging me, pleading me.

I war with myself, part of me wanting to reach out to you, hold you, take you in my arms and tell you that it was all a mistake, that I didn't want to leave, that all I wanted was to stay by your side forever – and part of me wishing to grant the one thing you're asking me right now, to respect your wishes and your privacy. In the end, my gentleman upbringing rules out over the part of me that wants you so terribly, and I materialize away.  
**  
Suze's POV**

I feel you disappear behind me, and I finally let loose the sobs that had risen up like bile into my throat the second I had stepped out of my bathroom and seen you sitting there on my window seat, looking all as handsome and perfect as ever.

A perfection I will never have.

You had wanted to tell me something, and frankly, I didn't want to hear it. I didn't want you to rub that rejection in even more. I mean, give me a break! There's only so much a person can take. You've almost ripped me to pieces, and it hurts like hell.

It's still early, but I don't want to deal with anyone for the rest of the day. I climb back into bed and pull the covers over me and let the tears fall and the sobs wrack my body. I've never felt this lonely or weak in my life, and I found that I didn't even have enough energy to hate it.

Slowly the tears subside and I'm only left with a damp pillow and my irregular breathing. I close my eyes and pray for sleep to come and make me forget everything, just for a few hours – but it evades me. I'm overcome with thoughts and memories of us together, and your face continues to haunt me even though you're nowhere near me. Your impassive gaze, your lips on mine, your acceptance of my offer to bring you back to purgatory… All out of reach. Never to be mine.

Because I was stupid enough to think your actions meant anything more than they did.

You had played with me, made me believe you, made me think I loved you… and I can only sit here and blame myself.

You sick, sick bastard.

And yet I still can't hate you. For all that you've done to me.

( I close my eyes  
And all I see is you  
I close my eyes  
I try to sleep  
I can't forget you  
Na na na… Na na na…  
And I'd do anything for you  
Na na na… Na na na na… )  
**  
Jesse's POV**

I lean my head on the trunk of the tree I have come to rest at. I've materialized in the woods behind our house – or was it her house now? – and hid my face in my arms.

I have never felt the two sides of me pulling each other apart so feriously before.

One part of me is telling myself that I am doing the right thing – I am leaving you so you can live. What future could you have with me? I cannot provide you with the things you needs, I cannot take care of you. For what use is a ghost in today's world? Or any world in that matter? I am unable to earn a living, to support you. I cannot wed you, make you mine. I cannot give you a family, because I am a ghost. You will grow older. And I will be forever young, unable to age with you, to die with you. A horrible, unfulfilled life.

I would not want you to give up the things I had to when Diego murdered me. I would not want you to miss living a normal, human life.

And the other side… The other side wanted to throw all that logic away, and just hold you, kiss you, love you for the strong, beautiful, stubborn, infuriating woman you are.

I trembled at the thought of being able to finally do what I had desired since my lips found yours in the graveyard that fateful night. To take you in my arms and never let go, to see you smile that dazzling smile of yours at me and only me, to see those deep brown eyes filled with adoration as they gazed at me, to whisper sweet nothings in your hair, to lie in bed next to you late in the night, to here you sigh my name as I was able to love you like I so desired. That part of me kept whispering that I could love you like you deserved to be loved – that I could love you better than anyone else ever can.

And I wanted so badly to believe it.

For a moment more, I felt myself struggling, felt the two sides of me pull harder, and harder, until –

And it was gone.

My head felt clearer than it had in days, and my nonexistent heart felt lighter.

I had finally given up on warring against what I truly wanted.

I look back up at the house, determined to set things right.

**Suze's POV**

I felt you materialize in the room, and shrunk back into my comforter, as if it were the only shield between you and me. I squeezed my eyes shut, not having the energy or the courage to send you away again.

Helpless.

**Jesse's POV**

To see you curled up like that, to see the pain and the helplessness written all over your face hurt me more than your words from before. My mind falters as I begin to blame myself for this – blame myself for making breaking my brave Susannah.

"Susannah," I utter, pleading softly for you to acknowledge me. "Susannah, please."

"What do you want, Jesse?" Your voice sounds tired, defeated. "Please, just leave me alone. Can't you see what you've done to me? Are you back to hurt me some more?"

"No, please, Susannah," I begged, your words cutting me deeper than anything else I have ever known. "Listen to me. Please."

**Susannah's POV**

I was tired to getting hurt. Tired of hearing the same old mantra – the same old lies you kept feeding me and feeding me. And I had lost too much energy crying to make you leave me in peace. I lay there, hoping if I ignored you, you and the pain would go away.

"Susannah… I have changed my mind."

Startled, I blinked my eyes open, shocked.

"What?" I whispered hoarsely.

**Jesse's POV**

I gathered up as much courage as I could, and continued.

"I have come to realize how much you mean to me, Susannah," I rushed, "I know that if I left, it would be the best for you. For you to continue without me plaguing you like this. But I cannot do it, Susannah. There is nothing else I value more than you, than seeing you smile, than seeing you happy. For awhile, I thought that your happiness would only come with my departure. But I cannot bear to leave you."

I took a deep breath, and finally revealed what my heart had been trying to tell me all this time.

( This could be the one last chance to make you understand  
And I just can't let you leave me once again )

**Suze's POV  
**  
"Susannah, I love you."

My heart stopped. Literally stopped. I couldn't feel, couldn't do anything but stare up at your face, your eyes swirling with so much emotion and pleading for me to understand. It was as if everything had just disappeared, and my vision was filled only of you and nothing else.

"Susannah?"

I struggled to sit up, rubbing my eyes as I did so. You looked so unsure of yourself, standing there and looking at me as if the entire world rested upon my reaction to your statement.

_He loves me. He_ loves me.

New tears began to pool in my eyes as I launched myself to my feet, tripping in my haste. I fall into your arms, and the next thing I knew, my lips were on yours.

**Jesse's POV**

This was better than I had ever dreamed of. Your lips, so soft, were on mine again, and this time I did not want to hold back.

My arms automatically brought you closer to me, pressing you against me as I continued to kiss you, matching your desperate pace. I remembered to pull back sometimes in order for you to breathe, but you always bring my lips back impatiently only a second afterwards.

I understood. I could never be used to this.

I felt you begin to pull us both back, and before I knew it, we had tumbled upon your bed into a pile of soft sheets. You never stopped your sweet ministrations, and however compromising our position, for once I could not bring myself to care.

It continued like this for Dios knows how long, and you finally settled into my embrace, your arms tight around me.

"Don't ever leave me, Jesse," you whisper, nuzzling into my neck.

"Never," I promise.

And like that, you fell asleep in my arms. I was content to watch you in the darkness until you murmured, half-asleep.

"I love you, Jesse."

And I know I have made the right decision. For both of us.

( I'd do anything  
Just to hold you in my arms  
To try to make you laugh  
Cuz somehow I can't put you in the past  
I'd do anything  
Just to fall asleep with you  
Will you remember me?  
Cuz I know  
I won't forget you... )

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**(A/N: reviews are unnecessary but welcome, i guess.)  
**

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